Yanni got fucking arrested

Longtime hero of mine (and let's face it, yours) YANNI has been arrested for domestic violence.

Apparently Yanni has trouble with the ladies.

The jokes are too easy and too dumb for this one. Just read it.

Full story on ABC news...

Saw this girl puke, make out with girl

OK, so, at a house party I went to this weekend we got to see this girl get sloppy, screaming drunk, throw up several times and then make out with a girl.

What's that smell? Oh. It's class. Class.

I don't know what her name is, but I'm a sucker for underage alcohol-troopers who can still manage some sapphoness after three V8 bottles of fuck-me juice. I mean, what's hotter than 19-year-old model vomit?*

Apparently she threw up several times after that and kept on drinking. So, hats off to you, Focus on the Coast girl. You, my dear, are a hard-ass.

*The answer is lesbian model vomit.

Listen to almost any song for FREE

http://fastboot.com/music_search.swf

This is great. Play with it.

Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs

From bbc.co.uk:

They claim that while other researchers have bred partly fluorescent pigs, theirs are the only pigs in the world which are green through and through.

The pigs are transgenic, created by adding genetic material from jellyfish into a normal pig embryo.

The researchers hope the pigs will boost the island's stem cell research, as well as helping with the study of human disease.

The researchers, from National Taiwan University's Department of Animal Science and Technology, say that although the pigs glow, they are otherwise no different from any others.

Taiwan is not claiming a world first. Others have bred partially fluorescent pigs before. But the researchers insist the three pigs they have produced are better.

They are the only ones that are green from the inside out. Even their heart and internal organs are green, they say.

To create them, DNA from jellyfish was added to about 265 pig embryos which were implanted in eight different pigs.

Four of the pigs became pregnant and three male piglets were born three months ago.

Green generation

In daylight the researchers say the pigs' eyes, teeth and trotters look green. Their skin has a greenish tinge.

In the dark, shine a blue light on them and they glow torch-light bright.

The scientists will use the transgenic pigs to study human disease. Because the pig's genetic material is green, it is easy to spot.

So if, for instance, some of its stem cells are injected into another animal, scientists can track how they develop without the need for a biopsy or invasive test.

But creating them has not been easy. Many of the altered embryos failed to develop.

The researchers say they hope the new, green pigs will mate with ordinary female pigs to create a new generation - much greater numbers of transgenic pigs for use in research.

Stunning discovery made

This blog sucks. Am I right?

Suuuuucks.

MF DOOM to play Wilmington, NC | Dec. 17

OK, MF Doom is coming to Wilmington, NC this Saturday. This is a big deal. We occasionally get national acts, but I never would have imagined that MF Doom would come here.

The bad thing is that he's playing at Marrz, a less than stellar venue. Bad thing number two: nobody knows how to get tickets or if he's even coming.

You can buy tickets at Gravity Records on Kerr Avenue. Tickets are $20 in advance and $25 the night of.

So, fingers crossed that this thing actually happens.

I bought two tickets yesterday.

Here's a clip of an interview that a friend of a friend conducted (I'm guessing) over e-mail. (Thanks Kenneth for interview, info.)

Currents: Why Wilmington? You could book up any venue in the country. Why play here in such a relatively small town?

MF Doom: Never had a chance to see my peoples in NC. I wanted to check it out.

Currents: In the last three years you have been involved with over a dozen projects, all of which have been brilliant. What is your drive? What is pushing you to work so hard and to create such fantastic music?

Doom: Kash and Kreativity

Currents: How did you begin work with Madlib and Dangermouse? Did they approach you or did you want to work with them? Of the two, which is your favorite? Which are you most proud of?

Doom: They both reached out to me and they both are my brothers. I got love for both

Currents: There is a constant rumor that a MF Doom and Ghostface Killer project is in the works. Any truth to that?

Doom: I'm not at liberty to speak on that one yet.

Currents: What are your final thoughts of hip hop in general and the current trends in hip hop in particular?

Doom: None of my thoughts are final.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Again, tickets are at Gravity Records for $20, and the show is Saturday, Dec. 17 at Marrz.

New Study: Chocolate melts human brain

That's right, kids. Some scientists in Indonesia just did some studies on chocolate. Turns out it destroys brain cell about as fast as watered-down bleach. So watch out. Stuff's poison.

Conservatives call Ford queer, Ford says 'am not'

DETROIT (AP) -- Ford says it wasn't giving in to pressure from religious conservatives when it decided to stop advertising Jaguars and Land Rovers in gay publications.

The second-biggest automaker announced today that the two luxury brands won't be placing ads in publications like The Advocate.

Ford spokesman Mike Moran says the halt is "a business decision" and had nothing to do with conservative Christian boycotts. He says the money-losing car lines are cutting back everywhere. And he says Ford's Volvo brand will keep advertising to gays.

Last week, the American Family Association canceled a boycott it started in May.

Some gay groups have asked if there was a secret deal for the automaker to drop the ads if the boycott was lifted.

The Ford spokesman says "We have no confidential agreement." The spokesman then said, "We don't want to start selling our cars to queers and shit. Ugh."

Man dials police cell phone in search of drugs

LINCOLNTON, N.C. (AP) -- A Lincolnton man got what he might consider a bad connection on his cell phone.

Narcotics detective Rick Lynn took a call, and the caller asked who he was. Lynn asked the same question of the caller, who identified himself. When Lynn asked what the caller wanted, the caller gave the slang for a 50-dollar rock of crack cocaine. Lynn told the caller he was on his way.

Lynn and two officers went to the house and knocked on the door. Someone on the other side asked who was knocking and Lynn said, "It's me."

The door opened and the officers identified themselves, telling the man he'd called the police to order drugs. Lynn says it has to be one of the funniest things that's ever happened to him in his career.

Mark Lewis and Lori Dale Brooks each are charged with one count of attempted possession of cocaine.

Lynn says his cell number was stored in Lewis' phone because a police informant had used it earlier to try to set up a buy.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

The reason why they pay me the big bucks

Hi, guys. I just found a way to kind of get rid of big flash ads on web pages. Ready?

If it's flash (and most animated, annoying ads are) you can right click the ad and click "zoom in." Just do that until you've zoomed into a colored area or until things STOP FUCKING MOVING.

So, yeah. That's why I get paid the big bux. To think. With my brain.

Dozens stranded in ski resort gondola (of doom)

LAKE LOUISE, Alberta (AP) -- In Canada's Alberta province, dozens of people -- including children -- have been trapped on a gondola at a ski resort.

Officials worked to free them with darkness falling and temperatures diving -- and with parents on the ground getting upset.

One of the parents angry over what they viewed as lackluster efforts to get the kids down called it "an absolute fiasco."

There's no word of any injuries.

A resort employee says a safety switch tripped on the Grizzly Express gondola, leaving those on board stranded.

Eight teams of ski patrollers have been working to help get those trapped out of the gondola cabins.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Sony asks parents to utilize "I'm too stupid to raise my kids right" function

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) -- Another company that makes video-game consoles is getting on-board with parental controls.

The Entertainment Software Association says Sony Corporation is the latest to announce that the controls will be part of its newest machine.

That means all three of the major console makers are promising to give parents the ability to help keep kids from getting access to violent video games, but not the ability to refuse to buy the games for them.

The association says Sony will place the controls on its forthcoming machine, PlayStation Three. Users of PlayStation Two were able to limit access to movies, but not to games like Grand Theft Auto where you got to murder cops, civilians and hookers alike.

On the Playstation Three, activating the parental controls will replace machine guns and swords with fly-swatters, allowing children to annoy hookers and cops, rather than outright murder them.

No comment yet from Sony other than a faint mumbling about making billions and not caring about children and shit.

Microsoft had already placed parental controls in its new X-Box 360, which went on the market last week. Earlier this month, Nintendo announced similar plans for its next-generation machine, Revolution, which comes out next year.

Sony is the world-wide market leader in child life-destroyers. They make a lot of money.

Indy kids! A call to arms

Fate of Pabst landmark in New Jersey still uncertain

NEWARK, New Jersey (AP) -- The fate the 60-foot-tall Pabst beer bottle in Newark, New Jersey, remains up in the air.

While the brewery nearby is being demolished, there's still no firm decision on what do with the 75-year-old copper-coated bottle, which makes an occasional cameo on the HBO series "The Sopranos."

The bottle stands 185 feet above street level, atop Pabst's old main building. The plant was shut down in 1986.

Moving the big beer bottle, however, could be costly even though developers would like to incorporate it into the landscape of a local park.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

If anyone would like to purchase the monument they'll need $10 and some tight jeans.

In a pinch, Japan considers treating women like humans

Japan panel backs allowing female monarchs to ascend throne

TOKYO (AP) -- A government panel in Japan is suggesting a bold move to solve the country's shortage of heirs for the throne: letting women ascend.

The advisory panel has been meeting since January to study the succession issue. It says the first-born child, regardless of gender, should have the right to take the throne.

The head of the committee says waiting for a male baby could lead to instability and is "not desirable."

Under the 1947 Imperial House Law, only males who have emperors on their father's side can inherit the crown.

Final recommendations are expected to be forwarded to Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi on
Thursday.

If the idea is approved, the only daughter of Crown Prince Naruhito and Crown Princess Masako will be second in line to the throne.

Yet another downside of being fat

Study: Overweight children likely to suffer more broken bones,
joint pain

UNDATED (AP) -- A lot has been reported on the future health
problems overweight children face. But a new study highlights what
they endure now.

It suggests overweight children suffer more broken bones and joint problems than kids of normal weight.

Scientists reviewed the medical history of 227 overweight youngsters and 128 of their normal-weight peers.

They discovered that 13 percent of overweight kids suffered at least one broken bone, compared with less than four percent of the normal weight kids.

Obesity researcher Doctor Jack Yanovski says the combination of muscle pain and poor mobility may lead to less exercise, and that could "perpetuate the vicious cycle."

A 14-year-old Kentucky boy who weighs 362 pounds says "it's painful to walk."

The study was presented at a recent meeting of the Obesity Society in British Columbia.

Police Search for Gary Glitter in Vietnam

HANOI, Vietnam -- Authorities said Thursday they are searching for former British rock star Gary Glitter over his alleged relationship with a Vietnamese teenager.

Foreign Ministry spokesman Le Dung said officials have confirmed that Glitter, 61, whose real name is Paul Francis Gadd, was residing in a home in southern Vung Tau city and had applied for permanent resident status in Vietnam.

Glitter rose to fame with glam-rock songs in the 1970s, most notably his only U.S. hit, "Rock and Roll Part 2," a largely instrumental song that has been a staple at stadium sporting events for years. Among his other songs hits were "I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am)" and "Do You Wanna Touch."

Glitter fell from grace in 1999 when he was convicted in Britain of possessing child pornography. He served half of a four-month jail sentence before being released. He later went to Cambodia and was permanently expelled in 2002, though Cambodian officials did not specify his crime or file charges.

Dung said that Glitter had left the house on Nov. 12, and police are seeking his whereabouts.

"At present, relevant authorities Ba Ria Vung Tau province are trying to trace this gentleman, and clarify the relationship between this gentleman and a Vietnamese juvenile," he said.

Dung said authorities have conducted interviews with a 15-year-old girl who they found in the home rented by Glitter.

"If evidence of a (legal) violation is found against Mr. Paul Francis, and especially evidence of sexual child abuse, I believe that very strict legal measures will apply to him," he said.

In Vietnam, the crime of sexually abusing a child can lead to the death penalty.

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NRA sues to overturn San Francisco gun ban

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- The National Rifle Association is suing to overturn an ordinance passed by voters in San Francisco.

The measure bans handgun possession and sales of firearms in the city.

The NRA filed its lawsuit with a California appeals court, asking the judges to nullify the law that demands the surrender of handguns by April. The same court struck down an almost identical city gun ban in 1982. It said then that the city could not enact an ordinance that conflicts with state law that allows for the sale and possession of handguns and ammunition.

The NRA also argues the new law unfairly puts San Francisco residents at a disadvantage, since it does not bar nonresidents from lawfully possessing handguns within city limits.

Mayor Gavin Newsom has acknowledged the measure likely wouldn't withstand legal scrutiny, but says it has symbolic value.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Japanese lingerie maker unveils heated bra for winter

TOKYO (AP) -- The Japanese government wants workers to dress warmly this winter and save energy. And a Japanese company is giving an unusual lift to that campaign.

Government leaders have been promoting their "Warm Biz" drive nationwide. Now Triumph International is offering the Warm Biz Bra that the company says will add "a little fun and chic to office wear."

The bra has removable pads that can be heated in a microwave or hot water. It also features long, furry straps that wrap around the neck, like a scarf. There also are matching shorts.

The company says the material helps save warmth, thus cutting down on the need to turn up the heat.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Jailed California man wins election to school board

RIVERSIDE, Calif. (AP) -- He wasn't able to get out to vote for himself, but lots of others did. And a prison inmate was elected to a school board Tuesday in southern California.

Randy Hale received 831 votes, earning one of three open seats on the Romoland School Board, even though he's behind bars.

Hale violated his parole after being convicted of spousal abuse and drug possession. He was returned to prison in September, and isn't due to be released until mid-February.

His wife Penny says "this is wild."

The district's superintendent says he's consulting lawyers to figure out how to handle the situation.

A political scientist at the University of California-Riverside says the fact that Hale's name was at the top of the ballot may have helped him get votes.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Carolina cheerleaders arrested after fight, bathroom sex in Tampa bar

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested in Tampa, Florida, early today after a bar dispute.

A police arrest report says the dispute broke out after bar patrons complained the women were having sex in a bathroom stall and taking too long in the bathroom.

Police say the cheerleaders left the stall. One began arguing with a bar patron , eventually hitting the patron in the face with a closed fist.

The Tampa Tribune reports that local officials are checking into whether one of the women arrested gave a false identification.

One woman was charged with battery, and the other with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

They were released on bond.

The incident happened 11 hours before the kickoff of the Panthers' NFL football game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

The cheerleaders traveled to Tampa on their own because members
of the team's Top Cats squad are on the sidelines only at home games.

Panthers officials say they're aware of the reported incident, but declined comment.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Legion Production Services of Wilmington, NC

Well, kids... Batabix Design has churned out another site. Please say hello to "Legin Production Services."

From legionproductionservices.com:

Legion Production Services offers complete solutions for your high definition needs. With 30 years combined experience in the film and video industry, our associates have experienced first-hand the way high definition video has revolutionized the way productions are shot, edited and distributed.

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Whether you are interested in 10-bit uncompressed HD editing, HD color correction or a complete HD camera/editing package, let Legion assist you in making your filmmaking goals a reality.

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Has anyone else noticed this?

Has anyone else gone back and watched a film years after childhood and realized a character (not a human character) was very, very gay?

Last night I watched Harry and the Hendersons for the first time in years, mainly so my girlfriend and I could see the scene in the end where John Lithgow has to hit Harry in the face to make him go into the woods so that LeFluer (sp?) won't find him. I use this scene a lot as an example of tough love. "It's like in the end of Harry and the Hendersons, when they have to throw sticks at Harry to make him go home..." Only, it isn't really sticks. Lithgow just jacks him one in the face.

Anyway, I realized that Harry is about 200% homosexual. Not that that's a problem, I just never noticed when I was 7 or however old I was when I saw it last.

You know who else? The tinman. Way gay.

Just go back and watch these movies. You'll see.

Lesson of the day: child movie nostalgia is blind to homosexuality in non-human forms like vegetarian sasquatches and men made out of old buckets.

Looking at it this way...

You see, I have nothing to put here today. I'm and fresh out of shiz to post. I'm hoping maybe later I'll think of something witty I can say, or see something I can make fun of, but reall -- I've got nothing.

I watched a movie last night. I made some jokes about it, but I think rehashing them here would be kind of lame. And sad.

Yeah.

PS - I was Andersen Cooper for Halloween and my girlfriend was Bjork, so we kicked all kind of ass.

Take a look at these eyes!

Have you seen this woman's eyes?

She is not human. She is the mother of Skeletor.

COMMENT DAY

OK, people, today is comment day.

Write some shiz.

Quote of the day is:
Freedom build from a journal doctor would choose excessively sentimental temporarily.
-- Unknown

Dear Opera...

Dear Opera software,

Give up. Please. Stop it. You have like .13% of browser share in US. What's the point? You're silly.

Stick to cellphone browsers, you do OK there.

P.S. - I think your web site looks nice.
P.P.S. - Get Firefox.

Domino sucks, but TOM WAITS is in it...

I went and saw Domino this weekend. All you need to know is that it was beyond terrible, but there were about 3.2 minutes of glory when TOM WAITS drives onscreen.

So, you can count this as a movie review. Four sucked balls for Domino.

Dear Keira Knightley, Please stop making such shitty movies. Dear Tony Scott (director of said shit-ball "film"), Fuck you, buddy. Fuck. You.

And that's all. The movie was bad, but Tom Waits shows up for a minute or two, and that was way cool.

Know this: you will never ever be even close to being as cool as Tom Waits. He is cooler than you. Deal.

Alexander Yakovlev, architect of Soviet perestroika, dies at 81

MOSCOW (AP) -- A key architect of Soviet reforms is dead.

Alexander Yakovlev joined the Soviet Communist Party's ruling
Politburo in the mid-1980s and spearheaded former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev's reforms known as perestroika. It was part of a drive to encourage openness and press freedom.

The ITAR-Tass news agency says the 81-year-old died today in Moscow after an unspecified illness.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Woman charged with cutting open pregnant neighbor to steal baby

PITTSBURGH (AP) -- A Pennsylvania woman is accused of beating her pregnant neighbor with a baseball bat, driving her to a secluded area and cutting her belly in an attempt to steal her baby.

Police say the attack on Valerie Oskin was stopped before her baby was taken because a 17-year-old boy on an all-terrain vehicle came across the women in a wooded area northeast of Pittsburgh.

Oskin's baby is in stable condition after being delivered by an emergency Caesarean section, and Oskin is in the trauma ward at Allegheny General Hospital. Oskin was believed to have been in her third trimester.

Charges against Peggy Jo Conner include attempted homicide.

Police say the pregnant woman was cut over an old Caesarean scar and probably would have bled to death had the teenager not come across them when he did.

They say Conner told the boy that Oskin was fine. Still, he called his father, who notified police.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Group home operators settle lawsuit over hiring of prostitute (File under: nofuckingway)

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) -- The operators of a former group home in Durham have settled a lawsuit accusing workers of psychologically harming boys by hiring a prostitute for them.

American Human Services of Raleigh and lawyer Lynne Holtkamp, the representative of one of the boys and his family, reached the agreement in Superior Court. The operators promise as part of the deal to try to prevent future sexual misconduct.

Financial details of the settlement are confidential.

Another lawsuit resulting from the incident was settled in November. A third case is pending.

The lawsuits allege that group home counselors Eddie Holden and Robert Fuller Garrison twice hired a prostitute in 2002 for four teenage boys with IQs as low as the 40s.

Holden and Garrison pleaded guilty in 2003 and received six-month jail terms, five years of probation and 500-dollar fines.

The state revoked the group home's license after investigating the incident.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

My Morning Jacket: "Z"

The most surprisingly good CD I've heard in a while is "Z" by My Morning Jacket. I say surprising because I wasn't expecting to like it. My friend has been trying to get me to listen to MMJ for a while, and while I liked their previous couple of albums, they didn't quite hit me in the way I need a record to. "Z" did, mostly because of the first song, Wordless Chorus, but because it was a slightly different approach from their other albums.

"Z" has more of a dazed-pop feel to it, whereas older MMJ albums seemed more lethargic or heartbroken, which is fine...

A few of the songs on "Z" sound like what Motown would have sounded like had it originated in Louisville, KY and had Louisville, KY been on Mars instead of Earth. Lonesome space-motown country-pop. That what this shiz is, and I like it.

Buy it on amazon.com if you want. It's only $10.99.

Hobbit jaw bone found in Indonesia

Some scientists say a jaw bone is more evidence that a tiny prehistoric Hobbit-like species once existed.

The bone was found in a remote Indonesian cave.

The jaw is from another individual believed to have lived as recently as 12,000 years ago.

The scientists who reported the original finding nearly a year ago strongly believe that the bones belong to a separate species of early human that shared Earth with modern humans far more recently than anyone thought.

But other scientists insist the specimens are nothing more than the bones of modern humans that suffered from a genetic disorder that results in small brain size.

The latest findings are published in the journal Nature.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

London to get sexual 'theme park'

LONDON (AP) -- Londoners and visitors to the British capital will soon be able to add another museum to their list of sites to visit. But this one won't be a stodgy display of art or jewels.

Developers are planning to open the London Academy of Sex and Relationships near Piccadilly Circus. The sexual "theme park" will be a multimedia attraction. Organizers say the goal is to teach visitors to become better lovers and provide valuable information about disease and sexual problems.

They say it will not be a sleazy sex museum.

A spokesman for the $8.3 million project says it will feature "interactive exhibits."

The London Academy of Sex and Relationships is due to open in the spring.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Time for a movie review!

OK, so last night I tried to watch The Jacket, but it sucked balls, so half-way through I wandered off and tried to cut my fingers off with those plastic scissors they give you when you're little. Fortunately for me, the plastic scissors were successful in not cutting me too bad, but unfortunately I tried to watch a movie that sucked balls.

The only thing I gathered from the movie was that if you put a jacket on Adrien Brody and stick him in a dark drawer he can time travel and talk to people who won't remember him. That and Keira Knightley's American accent is just plain silly.

I give this film 3 sucked balls.

In South Korea, obsessive video gaming can even kill

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) -- Psychologists and others in South Korea are raising the alarm about a new addiction sweeping the country: game-playing on the Internet.

In the words of one 27-year-old who kicked the habit, "You have no life, you only focus on gaming, putting off everything."

Many of South Korea's 17 million gamers, some 35 percent of the population, are obsessive. At popular Internet cafes, play can extend for days. Some participants, mainly males in their teens and 20's, don't even take time to wash up or go home. Professionals vie
for prize money.

This summer a 28-year-old man collapsed after playing nearly 50-straight hours of online games. He died at a hospital.

South Korea has the world's highest rate of high-speed Internet access, at 70 percent.

The government is also funding construction of the world's first e-sports stadium, where online competitions will be displayed on huge screens.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

I've written a poem

Oh you little scene kids,
with your fucking mySpace accounts
and your posed-for photos.

I sent you a pointless message today
Wanna fuck?

I like that you're in love with yourself
It's cute.

Please stop it.

You're cool and sad-looking;
We get it.
Now grow up.

Scientists photograph giant squid live in the wild for first time

TOKYO (AP) -- Japanese researchers have something you normally only see in horror movies: photos of a live giant squid.

They also have one of its nearly 20-foot-long tentacles.

Experts have, for the first time, been able to observe the legendary 26-foot long purplish-red sea creature up close and personal. And they have magnificent pictures to prove it.

A researcher with Japan's National Science Museum tells The Associated Press that the squid struggled for more than four hours to get away. It pulled so hard on a line of shrimp bait, that it
severed one of its own tentacles. They hauled it onboard and he says it was "quite an experience to feel the still-functioning tentacle" on his hands.

Giant squids are the world's largest invertebrates and can grow to a length of more than 50 feet. The one caught on camera was likely an adult female.

Police say man slowed chase to smoke crack

DUNN, N.C. (AP) -- Police in Dunn were racing after the suspect in a stolen car chase on Wednesday when something unusual happened.

The officer who initiated the chase says the driver of the stolen car was trying to delay his arrest so he could finish smoking some crack cocaine.

Officer John Parker says he noticed a white Buick with an apparent expired tag. When he checked the license plate number, he found the car was stolen. Parker chased the car, which turned onto another street and slowed down.

Parker says the suspect knew he was going to be caught because he put both of his hands up while still driving down the road and smoking a pipe.

The chase ended in the parking lot of the Dunn American Legion post. A second officer says the suspect tried to continue smoking crack even after his car was stopped.

James Ammons is charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, crack and drug paraphernalia and for refusing to stop for police and careless and reckless driving.

___

Information from: The Daily Record, http://www.dunndailyrecord.com/

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Officer who shot double amputee in wheelchair won't be charged

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) -- A Charlotte-Mecklenburg police officer who shot and killed a 67-year-old double amputee in a wheelchair will not face criminal charges.

Police had gone to the home of Alexander Ehrenburg on May 10 after a family friend asked authorities to check on him.

When firefighters received no response at the home, they knocked open the door and saw Ehrenburg pointing a gun.

Firefighters then backed out, prompting a police response with SWAT officers and negotiators. Ehrenburg reportedly hung up the phone on negotiators. Police tried to throw a portable phone inside the home to resume contact, and when they knocked open the door, police say they saw Ehrenburg raise a handgun from his lap and point it at officers.

Ten-year veteran officer Chris Kimbell shot Ehrenburg, who was soon pronounced dead at Carolinas Medical Center.

A hearing is scheduled for next week to determine if police
follows policies during the standoff with Ehrenburg.

___

Information from: The Charlotte Observer,
http://www.charlotte.com

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Forecaster theory of mobsters causing Katrina labeled ridiculous

IDAHO FALLS, Idaho (AP) -- Was Hurricane Katrina a man-made product?

An Idaho weatherman thinks so, but a Western Carolina University hurricane expert says the whole notion is laughable.

Meteorologist Scott Stevens, a nine-year veteran of KPVI-TV in Pocatello, says he was struggling to forecast weather patterns starting in 1998 when he discovered the theory on the
Internet.

Stevens says Japan's Yakuza mafia used a Russian-made electromagnetic generator to cause Hurricane Katrina in a bid to avenge itself for the Hiroshima atomic bomb attack -- and that the
technology will soon be wielded again to hit another US city.

Western Carolina's Rob Young says he's been researching hurricanes for nearly 20 years and he says there was nothing unusual about Katrina's satellite imagery.

Stevens' bosses say their employee can think and say what he wants -- as long as he keeps the station out of the debate and acknowledges that his views are his own opinion.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

City of Boston spends $50K putting tennis shoes on statues

BOSTON (AP) -- Benjamin Franklin has roller skates. Samuel Adams, a pair of hip new running shoes. As for stodgy old George Washington, he's sporting purple velvet boots.

What's up with the Founding Fathers' footwear?

That's what people in Boston have been asking the past few days after some of the city's most venerable statues began sporting a new look.

Turns out it wasn't a prank, as some first suspected. It's an idea Mayor Tom Menino had to promote the idea that people should use their feet more and their cars less.

The so-called "Sneakers on Statues" campaign is part of a $50,000 effort to showcase Boston's "walkability" to tourists. Menino says it's especially timely when you consider the price of gas these days.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Yes.

Average age, crash rate up in motorcycledom

GREENSBORO, N.C. (AP) -- Chrislee Hounshell broke ribs, bruised his heart and tore neck muscles in a motorcycle crash last April.

At age 52, it took him some time to recuperate. But there was no question of whether he would ride again on weekends and holidays.

Hounshell is among an increasing number of mid-life crisisists. And he is evidence of a resulting shift in the demographics of those who have accidents other than drunks and little girls who think they can fucking ride a hawg.

Survey data from the Motorcycle Industry Council shows the median age of motorcycle riders in 2003 was 41, up from just over 27 in 1985. And more of them are crashing those bikes, according federal and state data analyzed by the University of North Carolina
Highway Safety Research Center -- and that's the funny part.

Experts say there are many reasons for the increase. But all agree on one thing: Ridership growth hasn't been met with a corresponding number of safety courses. That and old people suck balls.

Man charged in hurricane fundraiser plan

JACKSONVILLE, N.C. (AP) -- Police in Jacksonville have arrested a man whom they say tried to sell stolen potato chips under the guise of a fund-raiser for Hurricane Katrina victims.

Jerod Edward Bates was arrested yesterday and charged with obtaining property under false pretenses, contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile, felony conspiracy, breaking and entering a motor vehicle, larceny and possession of stolen property.

Arrest warrants say Bates broke into a Frito Lay truck on Monday, took almost 500 dollars worth of products and then attempted to sell them with the intent on keeping the returns.

The warrants also say Bates is accused of conspiring with a 15-year-old to break into the vehicle. He also is accused of breaking into a second motor vehicle and stealing a purse and its
contents.

Hunting for gas in Mississippi

BILOXI, Miss. (AP) -- Gas shortages associated with Hurricane Katrina are easing in parts of Mississippi, where power is restored and tanker trucks operate. But for many in rural areas, finding fuel is a daily struggle and a necessity for survival.

One woman says she waited in line seven hours to buy a five-gallon container of gas for $25. Five dollars a-gallon. She says she would have paid $20.

A man says the gas shortage has created a "madhouse." He protects his supply with a .357 Magnum. Many gas cans on pickup trucks are secured with locks and chains.

Another Mississippian has this message for the governor and the president: "We've got plenty of people bringing us food and water. What we need is petrol. We can't do anything without gas."

Cogongrass: Attacking the Southeast US

CAMILLA, Ga. (AP) -- A botanical invader could be more of a scourge than kudzu, the Japanese vine smothering everything in its path.

The Forest Service says cogon grass has established a beachhead in the Southeast. Cogon is on every continent except Antarctica.

Experts warn that given enough time, Cogon grass could turn the Southeast into a biological desert -- a grassy savanna devoid of all native species.

Officials are trying to stamp it out, or at least stop its invasive spread.

The plant is ranked among the world's ten most dangerous weeds. It has displaced African nomads and taken over clearings in Asian forests used for centuries to grow crops.

Cogongrass: http://www.cogongrass.org

Police operation targets possible snipers near cell phone workers

NEW ORLEANS (AP) -- There are reports from New Orleans of shots being fired at cellphone workers on towers trying to restore service.

Authorities have been going door to door at nearby apartment buildings, sometimes forcing doors open in their search for potential snipers.

Some pawn shops in the area are federally licensed gun dealers that were looted in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

The operation includes dozens of New Orleans police, Louisiana State Police, ATF and other law enforcement members. Most are wearing flak jackets.

No shots have been heard during this morning's operation and no one has been pulled out of any apartments.

Hong Kong jury convicts American woman of murdering her husband with a milkshake

HONG KONG (AP) -- An American in Hong Kong has been convicted of murdering her wealthy investment-banker husband.

A seven-person jury decided that Nancy Kissel slipped the man a drugged milkshake and beat him to death in the couple's luxury apartment.

Kissel showed no expression as the jury returned the verdict in the November 2003 death of her husband, Robert, of New York.

The conviction carries a mandatory life sentence.

The defense argued that Kissel killed her husband in self-defense and was the victim of abusive sex.

There's no word on an appeal.

In response to my post, the world responds (late)

VIENNA, Austria (AP) -- The world is reacting to America's disaster.

Saudi Arabia says it's ready to increase crude oil production to replace market shortages. Venezuela is offering humanitarian aid and fuel.

Canada's Red Cross is assembling volunteers.

French President Jacques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder sent messages of sympathy to President Bush.

Pope Benedict says he's praying for victims of the "tragic" hurricane while China's President Hu Jintao expressed his belief that the American people would "rebuild their beautiful
homeland."

But not all responses were positive. Islamic extremists are rejoicing. Internet chatter referred to the storm as "Private" Katrina, and said it had joined the global holy war against the US [EDITOR'S NOTE: These people are fucking insane].